A Letter To My 15-Year-Old Self

Caveat: This is what happens when my silly mind starts rewinding. I write down things that can surprise my serene self. Several hours after drafting this hilarious letter, I felt good. Really, really good! 

Dear 15-year-old self,

Hello there, slim lady! Smile, don’t be scared. This is your 30-year-old concerned self speaking to you. Yes, from the near future.   

You should smile often and let that inner confidence come out. Don’t fret, you may look geeky and boring and nerdy with that skinny figure of yours, but there’s a little tiger growing inside of you. Don’t worry, that little tiger isn’t a scary beast at all. It’s just a little tiger, more like a cat. It symbolizes your feline self, your domesticated self that may growl as loud as you can when angered.   

You may be surprised how your calmness will turn and develop into informed strength or bitchiness (that’s how they call it in this present generation).

Continue filling yourself with junk foods and cups of rice. You’re gifted with the fastest metabolism until you reach your mid-20s. So rejoice and be a pig! Don’t feel guilty if you think you eat way too much fried stuff because your endless reading can actually burn up the lard sitting in your guts. 

Speaking of reading, don’t ever ever believe Mama that you’ll become blind before you finish college!  You’re one lucky girl as far as 20-20 vision is concerned! You’ll continue to enjoy it till you finish reading all the Nancy Drew series, Sweet Valley High and University series (and some Kids edition in between), some of those Sweet Dreams & Love Stories and what have you. 

Indulge in high school freedom, dear! Be silly with your choice of readings. You, my sweet quinceañera, like that and I, your mature version, like that too! Bury your nose in silly paperbacks and teen romances till you ran out of breath catching up with the mushy and shallow story lines. Enjoy it while you can. Be guilt-free and read in reckless abandon. Enjoy these lightweights as you're bound to open heavyweights in the near future. As in heavy lines, heavy topics, heavy books!

Don’t feel guilty whenever Mama knocks into your room to check out whether you’re studying your textbooks or not. We both know that a no-brainer paperback is safely tucked inside that boring textbook of yours. Your secret is safe with me though. Mama doesn’t know your little secret, unless she reads this. 

And hey, lady, never ever think that that tall and hunky Mass Com senior is the ultimate love of your life! That’s completely absurd and horrid! Pout all you want when you read this but that’s the truth. Flush that idea in that vandalized toilet in the ground floor of your pink-painted learning institution, will you? Never will he become yours forever. Never will he become the Prince Charming that will sweep you off your feet. Never will he become the guy who will give you that diamond ring and marry you. Never will he become the father of your kids, the kids who will tug at your mini-skirt (yes, Mama knows best!) waiting for the next batch of chocolate chip cookies to pop out from the oven. Blame the wholesome family sitcoms you’ve watched through the years. Never! Never in a million gazillion years! 

I won’t reveal your happy ending in the love department because that might ruin your happy destiny. You may breath now.

You know what’s the happy good news? You’ll fall in love again! Wait and you’ll see, lady. Wait and see. Relax and just go with the flow. But here’s the catch: there will be more heartbreaks after that. Just weep till you can’t weep no more and watch silly movies to regain your silly self.

And the happier good news?  You will survive them all! 

And you know what’s happiest good news? Your Prince Charming will arrive when you least expect it.  When you really really really least expect it! But, I assure you and I swear this in Shakespeare’s grave, that he’s bloody hell worth of a wait! 

You just made me happy, sweetie!

Smiling until now,

Your 30-year-old self